Honoring Parents
Honoring parents entails obedience, respectful conduct, and demonstrating love towards them. This includes speaking softly in their presence, treating them kindly in both words and actions as a means of drawing closer to Allah. In contrast, disobedience to parents is termed as “disrespect.” The duty to honor parents is not limited to their lifetime; it extends beyond their passing. During their lives, honoring them involves obeying their wishes as long as it does not involve sin, maintaining a gentle tone of voice, listening attentively, and consulting them on important matters. After their death, honoring parents can be expressed through prayers and seeking forgiveness on their behalf, settling their debts, carrying out their wishes, giving charity in their name, and maintaining ties with their relatives.
Hadiths on Honoring Parents
Numerous hadiths emphasize the significance of honoring parents and the immense rewards associated with it. Below are some notable examples:
- Abdullah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, “Which deeds are most beloved to Allah?” He replied, “Prayer at its proper time.” Abdullah then asked, “What next?” The Prophet responded, “Then honoring parents,” and when asked for the next, he replied, “Jihad in the way of Allah.” Abdullah reflected that if he had asked for more, the Prophet would have continued to provide further guidance.
- The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, stated: “May his nose be rubbed in the dust! May his nose be rubbed in the dust! May his nose be rubbed in the dust!” When asked who he meant, he said, “The one who reaches his parents in old age, one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise.”
- He also said: “The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of Allah is in the displeasure of the parents.”
- A man approached the Prophet seeking permission to engage in jihad. The Prophet asked, “Are your parents living?” When the man replied affirmatively, the Prophet instructed him, “Then strive in their service.”
- A man named Jahimah inquired of the Prophet about joining him in jihad to seek Allah’s pleasure and the Hereafter. The Prophet asked, “Is your mother alive?” When he confirmed, the Prophet said, “Return and honor her. Then he approached again from another angle, asking the same question, to which the Prophet repeatedly responded by saying, “Is your mother alive?” Finally, the Prophet concluded, “Stay close to her feet, for therein lies Paradise.”
- A man asked the Prophet, “O Messenger of Allah, who deserves my best companionship?” The Prophet replied, “Your mother.” The man then asked, “And then who?” The Prophet reiterated, “Your mother.” This continued until the man inquired once more and the Prophet answered, “Then your father.”
Qur’anic Verses on Honoring Parents
Many Qur’anic verses highlight the importance of honoring parents and encourage this noble behavior. Here are some of these verses:
- Allah the Exalted states: “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when] I was small.’ Your Lord is Most Knowing of what is within yourselves. If you should be righteous, then indeed, He is ever, to the oft-returning, Forgiving.”
- Allah the Exalted also commands: “And worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, and to parents, do good.”
- Furthermore, Allah instructs: “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.”
- In another verse, Allah mentions: “O John, take the Scripture with determination.” And We gave him judgement [while yet] a boy and affection from Us and purity, and he was fearing of Allah and dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant.”
- Moreover, Allah states: “And We commanded mankind [regarding] parents: His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.”