The Wisdom Behind the Legitimacy of Divorce and Its Rulings
Islam encourages both men and women to thoughtfully choose their life partners during the engagement phase. However, despite the significance placed on this choice, it does not guarantee a stable marital life. In some cases, one party may not make diligent efforts to select a suitable partner. Additionally, unforeseen circumstances might arise after the marriage contract, leading to conflicts. These circumstances can include illness, inability to fulfill marital responsibilities, or external interference from family or neighbors. In other scenarios, it might stem from one partner’s emotional disengagement from the other. In such situations, the first step should be patience, understanding, and overlooking each partner’s shortcomings. If, however, the reasons for conflict become overwhelming or if their mental state does not allow for patience and endurance, Islamic law permits divorce. The wisdom behind this permission is to alleviate the difficulties and suffering between them so that each can resume their lives separately or enter into a new marital relationship that ensures a peaceful and stable existence.
Divorce falls under the five ruling classes of Islamic law, depending on the state of the couple. In some circumstances, divorce may be obligatory, such as when a husband refuses to fulfill his marital duties after swearing not to have intimate relations with his wife. He is allowed four months to reconsider; afterwards, he must either resume relations or proceed with divorce. Another instance of obligatory divorce occurs during arbitration when the arbitrators decide that the couple should separate. Divorce can also be recommended when the wife neglects her religious obligations, like prayer, or when their shared life has become intolerable due to ongoing disputes. If the wife requests a divorce (khul‘), the husband is encouraged to grant it to prevent further harm. Divorce may also be permissible in cases of serious marital misconduct or harm. Conversely, if there is no valid reason for divorce, it is discouraged. The act becomes unlawful if divorce occurs under inappropriate circumstances, such as while a woman is menstruating or during the postpartum period.
The Most Disliked Permissible Act Before God is Divorce
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said, “The most disliked permissible act to Allah is divorce; nothing that Allah has permitted is more abhorrent to Him than divorce.” This narration is attributed to a trustworthy source, Ma’ruf ibn Wasil, who cited the reliably narrated accounts from Muhrab ibn Dhithar. He transmitted these accounts in two ways: one directly connected through a chain that includes Ibn Umar, and another that is unlinked, only mentioning Ma’ruf and Muhrab. Scholars of hadith examined these narrations and found that those who relayed the unlinked version were more trustworthy, thus they favored this version, although unlinked narrations are typically considered weaker. Consequently, the aforementioned narration is regarded as weak due to its unlinked nature.
Despite the preference against establishing the authenticity of this hadith due to its weaknesses, its meaning is nonetheless valid. Sheikh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen noted that, while Allah dislikes divorce, He has not prohibited it for His servants, allowing them some relief and alleviating their burdens. Thus, if there are legitimate reasons for divorce, it becomes permissible. Further, if keeping a woman within her husband’s custody could lead to major prohibitions, such as being deficient in religious observance or morality, it is preferable for the husband to initiate divorce. Nevertheless, divorcing without cause is deemed undesirable. Similarly, Sheikh Ibn Baz affirmed that divorce, while permissible, is the most disliked of permissible acts because it leads to separation between spouses. The essence of the previously mentioned hadith encourages avoiding divorce and emphasizes the importance of maintaining the marital bond, as this supports both partners’ dignity, the continuity of potential offspring, and the preservation of modesty and fidelity, among other important benefits.
Etiquette of Enacting Divorce
When a man chooses to divorce his wife, there are several religious etiquettes he should observe. Below are some key points to consider:
- Prioritize the well-being of all parties involved before proceeding with divorce—this includes taking your time and seeking arbitration. Those who rush into divorce without consulting mediators may violate both prescribed actions and prohibitions.
- Initiate divorce when concerned about failing to uphold the limits set by Allah, such as if a woman’s well-being is compromised due to her husband’s misconduct or indulgence in vice.
- Avoid inflicting harm on the wife by divorcing her, as inflicting harm is prohibited in Islam; Allah commands, “And do not harm them.”
- Do not issue a triple divorce at once, as this action is forbidden by the Prophet (peace be upon him).
- Seek witnesses to attest to the occurrence of the divorce and any subsequent reconciliations.
- Ensure that the divorce is not made in a state of anger.
- Divorce must be conducted according to Islamic guidelines, not during menstruation or postpartum periods, but rather in a state of purity in which the marital relationship has not been consummated.
- Execute the divorce with kindness, avoiding vulgar language or any form of aggression towards the wife.