Reflections on Grieving for the Deceased
There are numerous Hadiths that illustrate the sorrow of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, for the deceased. Here are a few poignant examples:
- The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed, the eyes may tear and the heart may grieve, but we say nothing except what pleases our Lord. Truly, we are saddened by your departure, O Ibrahim.”
- According to Usama bin Zaid, he remarked: “We were with the Prophet (peace be upon him) when a messenger from one of his daughters came to call him for her son who was on the verge of death. The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: ‘Return and inform her that to Allah belongs what He has taken and to Him belongs what He has given, and everything has an appointed term. Therefore, instruct her to be patient and to seek reward (from Allah).’ The messenger repeated that she insisted on him coming, and so the Prophet (peace be upon him) stood up, accompanied by Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah and Mu’adh bin Jabal, and they were presented with the child whose soul was departing. His eyes were filled with tears, and Sa’d said: ‘O Messenger of Allah!’ The Prophet replied: ‘This is a mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants. Indeed, Allah only shows mercy to those of His servants who are merciful.’
- Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported: “I saw the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) tearfully kiss Uthman ibn Maz’oon after his death, tears streaming down his beard.”
The Ruling on Grieving for the Deceased
Grieving and weeping for the deceased is permissible, and there is no scholarly consensus that forbids it. However, what is prohibited is the practice of lamentation associated with acts that contravene Islamic teachings, such as tearing one’s garments, striking one’s face, or displaying excessive despair over divine decree.
Abdullah ibn Umar narrated that: “Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah was ill, and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to visit him, accompanied by Abdur-Rahman bin Awf, Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas, and Abdullah bin Mas’ud. When they entered, they found him in a state of lethargy. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked, ‘Has he passed away?’ They replied: ‘No, O Messenger of Allah.’ The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) began to cry, and when the people saw him weeping, they also began to weep. He then said: ‘Did you not hear? Indeed, Allah does not punish due to the tears of the eye or the sorrow of the heart, but He punishes for this’ — pointing to his tongue — ‘or shows mercy.’
Supplications to Console the Family of the Deceased
Muslims can offer the following supplications to comfort the bereaved family:
- “Indeed, to Allah belongs what He has taken, and to Him belongs what He has given, and everything is with Him for an appointed time. So let them be patient and seek reward.”
- “May Allah magnify your reward, grant you consolation, forgive your deceased, and make ample your loss.”
- “O Allah, You are near and You answer the supplication of the supplicant when he calls upon You. Have mercy on him, forgive him, and inspire his family with patience.”
- “O Allah, forgive him, have mercy on him, pardon him, honor his abode, widen his entrance, wash him with water, snow, and hail, and purify him from sins as a white garment is laundered from dirt. O Allah, forgive our living and deceased, our witnesses and absent, our elders and youth.”
- “I ask Allah, the Great, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to grant your deceased a place in Paradise free from reckoning and trial, and to strengthen your hearts, bring you comfort, and unite you in the gardens of the Merciful.”
- “Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we return. We ask Allah to envelop him in His mercy, grant him forgiveness, accept him with pleasure, and resurrect him among the righteous under the banner of our master, the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (peace be upon him).”
- “May Allah mend your broken hearts, assist you in your suffering, grant you patience and solace, extend His mercy upon you, and protect you from the trials of life and death. Indeed, to Allah we belong and to Him we return.”
- “May Allah make you among the patient who are rewarded without reckoning, elevate your ranks, forgive your deceased, grant you extended life after him, protect you from the trials of life and death, and forgive and have mercy on your deceased, expanding his grave.”