The funniest jokes.

Best Funny Jokes

1. It’s a true testament of loyalty when an ant married an elephant, and after the elephant’s passing, the ant spent its entire life trying to bury it.
2. What’s the difference between an ant and an elephant? The answer: An elephant has legs that stumble, while the ant’s legs do not.
3. One guy, feeling silly, waited for his friend who had fallen into a well by the tap.
4. A miser was upset, and when asked why, he replied, “The tooth of my comb broke.” They told him it was no big deal since he could comb his hair without it, to which he responded, “No, that was the last tooth!”
5. A pediatrician married another pediatrician and announced their marriage in a Mickey Mouse magazine.
6. A Chinese couple got married and ended up with a set of tea cups.
7. A man and his wife were fighting and stopped talking to each other. He wrote a note saying, “Wake me up at 6:30 because I have work,” placed it on the bed, and fell asleep. He woke up at 10:00 and found a note that said, “6:30, time to wake up.”
8. A lazy student entered an exam and dropped his pen but still submitted his paper.
9. There was a man who was frustrated and gave his annoyance to his brother.
10. A stoner called the airline to ask, “How much do you charge for a haircut and shaving?” The employee replied, “Sir, you have the wrong number.” The stoner responded, “No mistake! Isn’t it you guys who have an advertisement in the newspaper about the cheapest prices?”
11. A stoner got his vision checked and came out with 6/6 vision and said, “I swear the doctor confused me; I could have done better.”
12. One man was happy to marry a sad woman, but they ended up with “happiness that didn’t last.”
13. A stoner called the telecom company, and the employee greeted him, “Hello! How can I assist you?” The stoner replied, “My phone line is too long; can you shorten it from your end?”
14. One man spotted his twin brother and asked, “Where have you been since morning? You’ll ruin your look!” He replied, “Mom made me take two showers.”
15. A grandfather told his grandson, “Go hide; your teacher is coming to visit, and you didn’t attend school today.” The grandson said, “You should go hide because I told him you passed away.”
16. A dim-witted man had seven children and named himself “Seven Up.”

Short and Funny Jokes

1. A man changed his mind and bumped into the person behind him.
2. One day, a man told his wife, “I want to see you without makeup.” She replied, “Why are you beating around the bush? Just say you want to divorce me.”
3. A busy man married another busy woman, and they had a child who wasn’t available to them.
4. A math teacher had two sons and figured out the third.
5. One stoner saw his mother with flames and said, “Wow, you’re glowing, good lady.”
6. A man invited his friends to the roof; why? Because they are shallow friends.
7. A stoner asked a woman, “What’s your name?” She replied, “Names.” He responded, “So, there’s no specific name?”
8. One stoner entered the exam hall with a spoon. Why? To stir his thoughts.
9. A dishonest thief broke into a house to steal but found an elderly woman who was cold; he turned on the air conditioning for her and fled.
10. There was a bag floating in the air; why? It was fleeing from the municipality.
11. A group of stoners entered a restaurant to celebrate; why? They wanted to order brides.
12. Once, a scoundrel called the fire department and shouted, “What a shame! If there’s no fire, we won’t see you!”

Funny Stoner Jokes

1. Once, a stoner received a water bill of 7,000 riyals and called the water company saying, “Hello, my friends… just checking, is the rain this year on my tab?”
2. Once, a stoner was late for work, and when asked by his manager why, he said, “I dreamt I had guests and was embarrassed to get up and leave them.”
3. Stoner #1 said to Stoner #2, “Believe it or not, my mind’s busy.” Stoner #2 replied, “Of course; your speaker’s on.”
4. One stoner getting out of his car saw it was raining and made a turn to get out the other door.
5. A stoner went to court, and when the judge asked him who he was married to, he replied, “To a lady.” The judge questioned, “Are you joking? Is there anyone who marries a man?” He responded, “Yes, my sister is married to a man.”
6. A stoner holding ice said, “I’d die to know where the water drips from.”
7. A stoner was asked about his opinion on early marriage, and he replied, “That depends; what time?”
8. A stoner passed by an internet café that advertised 10 dinars for an hour and asked, “Is the hour waterproof?”
9. A stoner asked his brother, “What’s the difference between a week and a desert?” His brother said, “I don’t know.” The stoner replied, “A week has someone in it, while the desert is empty.”
10. A stoner on a plane tapped the flight attendant on the shoulder and asked her, “Where’s the bathroom?” She directed him to the other side. He then tapped her on the other shoulder and asked again, “Where’s the bathroom?”