The Relationship Between Spouses During Fasting
Allah, the Exalted, has ordained marriage, instilling love and mercy between a husband and wife. This union serves as the foundation for building a Muslim family, which is vital for a strong community. It is important to note that the religious guidelines regarding marital relations during Ramadan advise couples to be cautious of actions that may lead to excessive desire. It is permissible for spouses to sit together, joke, converse, and engage in teaching and sharing knowledge. However, it is recommended to avoid anything that might lead to sexual intercourse, such as kissing, embracing, or touching, since these actions are associated with desires that Allah commended the fasting individuals for abstaining from as a means of drawing closer to Him, as mentioned in a sacred hadith: “They leave their food, drink, and desires for My sake; fasting is for Me, and I will reward it, and a good deed is rewarded tenfold.” It is essential for the fasting individual to understand that these prohibitions vary in seriousness, with physical contact carrying the highest risk of leading to ejaculation, thereby invalidating the fast. Although some scholars permit kissing and similar actions while fasting, they emphasize that the person must be confident that such acts will not lead them beyond mere kissing, which could jeopardize their fast. Indeed, married couples should familiarize themselves with several specific rulings related to fasting in Ramadan, some of which will be discussed below.
Rulings on Fasting for Married Couples
Ruling on Intercourse for the Fasting Person
Engaging in sexual intercourse during the daytime hours of Ramadan is prohibited, as it is considered akin to eating and drinking, which invalidates the fast. Allah refers to this in the Quran: “It has been made lawful for you to be with your wives during the night of the fast. They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you were deceiving yourselves, so He accepted repentance from you and forgave you. Now have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset.” This verse indicates permission for intimate relations during the nights of Ramadan, implying that fasting entails abstaining from eating, drinking, sexual relations, and all other acts that may break the fast.
The prohibition of intercourse during the day of Ramadan is rooted in the essence of fasting, which involves restraining oneself from physical desires. Engaging in pleasures like eating and drinking can enhance temptations from Satan and weaken one’s resolve regarding worship and good deeds. Since sexual relations are a bodily pleasure similar to eating and drinking, Allah has forbidden them during daylight hours in Ramadan, making them one of the invalidating actions. Additionally, there are significant consequences for those who invalidate their fast through intercourse, including a heavy expiation.
Scholars have indicated that anyone who has sexual relations with their spouse during the day in Ramadan incurs sin, invalidates their fast, and must refrain from eating for the remainder of the day. Anyone who invalidates their fast without valid religious excuses must fast the rest of that day and make up for it afterward, along with undergoing expiation. It is worth noting that expiation for sexual intercourse during the day of Ramadan is one of the most severe; it requires freeing a slave, and if that is not possible, fasting for two consecutive months. If one is unable to do either, they must feed sixty needy individuals. However, if the fasting was voluntary and the individual breaks their fast through intercourse, there is no expiation required. Scholars also clarified the ruling for those who engage in intercourse during the day of Ramadan inadvertently, stating that their fast remains valid, just as it does for someone who eats or drinks by mistake, and responsibility is lifted from them, despite the fact that such occurrences are unlikely during obligatory fasting given that they involve both spouses.
Ruling on Kissing for the Fasting Person
Kissing that causes the fasting individual to ejaculate is unanimously considered a breaking of the fast by scholars. However, if a kiss does not lead to ejaculation, the ruling then depends on the personal nature of the fasting individual. If the kiss provokes desire, it is regarded as disliked, though it does not invalidate the fast. It is narrated that Aisha, Mother of the Believers, said: “The Messenger of Allah would kiss and embrace while fasting, but he had greater control over his desires.” If the kiss does not provoke desire or lead to ejaculation, it is deemed permissible, although it is preferable to avoid it, as evidenced by the narration of Umar ibn al-Khattab, who stated: “I was playful and kissed while fasting, then said: O Messenger of Allah, I did a great thing by kissing while fasting.” He replied: “What if you gargled with water while fasting?” To which Umar responded: “There is no harm in that,” and the prophet clarified: “So why not?” Therefore, the scholarly consensus on the ruling concerning kissing varies based on whether it incites desire or leads to ejaculation, with no distinction made between young and old individuals. The Maliki scholars hold the view that kissing while fasting is discouraged altogether. Notably, opinions diverge regarding whether the emission of pre-ejaculatory fluid (madhiy) during kissing in daylight Ramadan nullifies the fast. Imam Ahmad and Imam Malik assert that it does nullify the fast, while Imam Shafi’i and Abu Hanifa argue the opposite.
To reinforce the aforementioned points, scholars reference the narration by Abu Huraira, stating: “A man asked the Prophet about physical intimacy for a fasting person, and he permitted it; another man came and inquired, and he forbade it. The man who was allowed was an elder, while the one who was prohibited was younger.” It is evident that the term ‘physical intimacy’ in the hadith does not imply sexual intercourse but refers instead to light touching and similar actions, such as kissing. Scholars explained that the Prophet refrained from allowing the youth because their desires are often stronger than that of the elder, which makes them more susceptible to actions that may invalidate their fast.
Rulings Related to Ejaculation During Fasting
Ejaculation is defined as a thick, whitish-yellow fluid that has a smell similar to freshly cut palm trunks or dough, which is expelled forcefully during peak desire, followed by a feeling of exhaustion. Ejaculation is considered pure, though it necessitates a ritual bath (ghusl) afterward, whereas pre-ejaculatory fluid (madhiy) is a transparent, sticky fluid released upon stimulation without the forceful expulsion associated with ejaculation. Madhiy is deemed impure but only requires ablution, not a full bath. It is important to note that the ruling of ejaculation can vary depending on the circumstances; ejaculation caused by kissing, intimate touching with one’s spouse, or masturbation invalidates the fast and requires compensation, according to the consensus of the four schools of thought. However, no expiation is imposed, as the expiation is specifically linked to intercourse, not other forms of ejaculation. If ejaculation occurs simply from thought without physical engagement or visual stimulation, or if a fasting person dreams and awakens with ejaculation, their fast remains intact, as per the unanimous agreement among scholars, since it is beyond one’s control.
After outlining the ruling on ejaculation for a fasting person, it is crucial to clarify the definition and ruling of masturbation. Masturbation is defined linguistically as the act of bringing forth ejaculation and, terminologically, as expelling semen without intercourse, often through manual techniques or other means. Masturbation is prohibited based on Allah’s statement: “And those who guard their private parts, except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed they are not to be blamed. But whoever seeks beyond that, they are the transgressors.” The verse indicates the prohibition of seeking pleasure outside of marriage. The Maliki, Shafi’i, and Hanbali scholars, as well as the majority of Hanafi scholars, assert that masturbation invalidates fasting. However, Abu al-Qasim of the Hanafi school contended that masturbation does not break the fast since it is fundamentally different from sexual intercourse. As for masturbation through visual stimuli, whether repeated or not, both the Maliki and Hanbali schools deem it as invalidating fasting. In contrast, the Hanafi and Shafi’i schools hold that it does not invalidate the fast in any case, and while the Maliki school asserts that expiation is unequivocally obligatory if visual stimulation occurs repeatedly, the other schools do not share this view.
Ruling on the State of Janabah (Impurity) While Fasting
Scholars have concluded that it is permissible for someone who has engaged in sexual relations with their spouse at night or has become impure to delay their ritual bath until after dawn without affecting the validity of their fast. Imam al-Nawawi noted that the consensus among the majority of scholars supports this. They support their ruling with a narration reported by Imam Muslim, from Aisha, who said: “A man came to the Prophet asking if he could fast while in a state of janabah, and she overheard this from behind the door. The Prophet replied that he himself often finds himself in a state of janabah yet still fasts.” The response illustrates that it is acceptable to fast even when in a state of janabah, as long as the individual performs the necessary purification before prayer.
The Ruling on Foreplay Between Spouses While Fasting
The ruling regarding foreplay between spouses during fasting involves considerations specific to married couples. Scholars generally agree that foreplay is permissible during fasting, provided there is certainty that it will not lead to severe desire, which might result in the emission of pre-ejaculatory fluid or semen. If either spouse fears that foreplay may lead to ejaculation, it is advised to avoid such interactions, as it could jeopardize the fast. A narration by Aisha indicates that the Prophet would kiss and engage intimately while fasting, emphasizing greater control over desires. Similarly, Umar ibn Abi Salama is reported to have asked the Prophet whether a fasting person may kiss, to which the Prophet instructed him to consult Umm Salama, confirming that he indeed engaged in such actions while fasting. He responded, “O Messenger of Allah! Allah has forgiven your previous and future sins.” The Prophet noted, “By Allah, I wish to be among the most God-fearing and knowledgeable about what I should avoid.” This evidence supports the permissibility of kissing for a person who is fasting and extends the judgment to encompass foreplay and other preliminary intimate actions.