Prayers for Reconciliation Between Spouses
Below are some prayers that can be utilized to seek reconciliation between spouses from Allah – the Most High:
- The Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – said: “O Allah, unite our hearts, mend our relationships, guide us to the paths of peace, save us from darkness and lead us to light, and keep us away from lustful desires, both hidden and apparent. Bless us in our hearing, sight, hearts, spouses, and offspring. Accept our repentance, for You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful. Make us grateful for Your blessings and help us acknowledge them fully.”
- “O Allah, guide me to the best of morals, for none can guide to the best of them except You. Turn away from me the bad morals, for none can turn them away from me except You.”
- “O Allah, just as You have beautified my creation, beautify my character.”
- “O Allah, return my spouse to me in a beautiful manner. I ask You by Your beloved name, which is sufficient, to take care of all my matters with my spouse; what troubles my mind and keeps me awake at night. O Allah, unite my heart with theirs just as You united the hearts of Your servants. O Allah, make them submissive to me just as You made the sea submissive to Moses.”
- “O Allah, grant me a devoted spouse and let me be devoted to them. Bless me and bless them.”
- “O Lord, make my spouse kind-hearted toward me. Place in their heart feelings of compassion, affection, and love from You. O Allah, make me beautiful in their eyes, and make them beautiful in my eyes. Instill love for me in their heart and bless me with righteous offspring through them. O Allah, do not allow separation between us.”
- According to Sa’ad ibn Abu Waqqas, the Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – would pray at the end of his prayers with every good prayer, avoiding sin and severing family ties, saying: “O Allah, mend my offspring, O Allah, forgive me and my parents, O Allah, rectify my spouse, O Allah, grant me lawful and wholesome sustenance, O Allah, guide those in authority towards goodness, and O Allah, improve their inner circle.”
Causes of Marital Conflicts
Marital issues can arise from various factors. Here are some notable causes:
- Interference from relatives and neighbors in marital disputes.
The primary source of marital disputes often stems from one spouse disclosing their problems to relatives. If a husband confides in his family about his wife, it can lead to anger towards her, and similarly, if a wife discusses her husband with her family, it can evoke resentment towards him. Therefore, both spouses should focus on resolving their issues together rather than involving others.
- Failing to recognize each other’s virtues and focusing solely on shortcomings.
When spouses concentrate only on each other’s flaws or negative traits, they tend to overlook each other’s strengths, leading to animosity. The Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – stated: “A believer should not despise a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her qualities, he should be pleased with another,” advocating for a balanced view.
- Misjudgment by both spouses leading to a loss of trust.
If spouses develop negative assumptions about one another, it erodes trust, which is crucial for family unity. They should avoid hiding things from each other and engaging in any actions behind the other’s back. The default stance should be one of innocence and goodwill, to prevent conflicts.
- Lack of knowledge about valid methods for resolving disputes.
When conflicts arise, spouses might immediately consider divorce, which is a misguided approach. Divorce should always be the last resort. Allah has provided various means to resolve marital conflicts, as stated: “And for those whom you fear may rebel, advise them.” Initially through education, then “forsake them in beds,” meaning creating distance when necessary, and finally “strike them lightly,” which signifies a gentle reminder, not a physical punishment, emphasizing the need for handling issues according to Islamic principles.
The Virtue of Reconciliation Between Spouses
Restoring harmony between individuals is regarded as one of the greatest acts of worship, especially when aimed at pleasing Allah – the Most High. Here are some of the virtues of reconciliation:
- Allah – glorified be He – says: “There is no good in much of their secret talk, except for one who enjoins a charity or good conduct or reconciliation among people. And whoever does that seeking means to the approval of Allah, We will give him a great reward.”
- The Messenger of Allah – peace be upon him – stated: “Every person’s joint is a charity; every day the sun rises, administering justice between people is a charity.”